July 2022 – easily the hardest day to-date for my family. My husband and I have been together for 11 years. Our house build was almost complete, our first grandchild was just born, it took until my 40’s to finally feel a sense of safety and security. Life was coming together.

Until it wasn’t.

After 14 years of clean sobriety, my husband had relapsed. And none of us even knew. Addiction swept in like a thief in the night and snatched the rug from under us all.

This is part of my story that is very private to both me, as an individual, and my family. So I won’t be divulging specifics.

What I will say tho, is that a few weeks later during a very brutal and honest sit-down, this had been happening for the past several years. It started 4 years prior to be exact, which I cannot help but feel traces back to 2018 – The Youngest

Was ‘I’ knocking on my door to tell me something?

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Loyalty, honestly, and safety are my 3 uncompromisable boundaries.

So, we separated. I finished the house build completely by myself, and the next month I moved into my home with my children.

Right now in 2024, we still live in separate homes. He just celebrated 1 year clean in March and he’s doing well. We speak every day and check in.

I often find myself realizing that I missed what the Universe was trying to tell me.

But then I remind myself that if I’d not lived this life the way it was intended to play out, would I still be who I am today?

And so my final reminder to myself is this: You’re allowed to let toxic relationships go, even if you didn’t realize they were toxic. You’re allowed to surround yourself with what nurtures you. You’re allowed to pick the kind of energy you need in your life.