First part of December, I shared that I’d been working through how to find “myself” during sleep-thinking. 

It took the better part of a month of sleep thinking to sort through things before arriving to the place in my subconscious that I now know to be that of my Higher Self. 

I touched on that topic in that previous post.

Since then I’ve been visiting that area of sleep-thinking as often as I can. 

What I’ve found tho, is that my method of sleep-thinking doesn’t apply in that space. 

My brain usually asks questions during sleep-thinking and sorts through to find the answer. 

But in this area of my subconscious, the Higher Self space, it’s not a question and answer based system. 

It’s a sit down, shut up, and listen system. 

I’m there to receive a message that needs to be given to me. Not pick and choose what I want the answers to. 

I use sleep thinking to get me there, but once I arrive, I’m no longer a sleep-thinker.

In that space, I’m a sleep-seer. 

I’m shown answers or messages to whatever the Higher Self has determined I need to be shown. Even if I have no idea what’s it connected to. 

Then a few weeks ago, while asleep and visiting my Higher Self space, I was shown something that I knew didn’t belong to me. 

I was seeing a person that I did not know. But not seeing them in their Earthly form. It was their Higher Self. And as I was being shown this, my brain felt like it was vibrating and there was this roaring in my ears. 

There was a message from that persons Higher Self being given to my Higher Self, in an attempt to have me pass on the message to that person on this side. 

Only problem was, idk who the person is or what they look like or how to find them. 

So I slept on that for a few more nights. Trying to “find” out who that person was.

But suddenly I realized that it was being shown to me as an example. Like “see, this is what you can do. You can come here to receive a message for someone.” 

When I woke up that morning, I had the clearest realization that I’ve been in that Space well before ever trying to get there. 

I’ve already visited the subconscious space of my Higher Self. 

The night of the mauling, and what I later learn to be NDE. 

I describe it in The Mauling. My body vibrating, my ears roaring. My higher self coming to help me by telling me what to do.

Except I had it backwards. 

The “Tall man” (my higher self) didn’t come HERE to me. I went into the subconscious space of my Higher Self. I was given those directions THERE. Not here. I was pulled there during the NDE. 

It’s taken almost 2 years to understand what happened to me that night. It’s been a very long, personal journey for me. 

I’m glad to have taken the advice from others to write about my life. To have these entries to go back and reflect on when bits and pieces of them start to make a bigger connection. 

It’s given me sense of empowerment back that I for sure thought had been lost inside of me. 

And since connecting these recent experiences together to form a larger picture, it’s seemed to have unblocked that inner feeling I had of not fully trusting myself.

I can visit the Space of my higher self to get guidance that I’m supposed to have; instead guidance I want to have. 

Now what I’m supposed to do with that guidance…beats the hell outta me…but it feels like it’s pulling me to help others with it. 

That’s the purpose it feels like. So that’s the direction I’m taking. And I think once I’m fully on that path, it’ll connect a lot more dots down the road.